i am

tonight i am missing mattamuskeet. mostly the people that became my family there.

i am wearing my carolina sweatshirt and preparing to devote a full three hours to watching football without feeling guilty about ignoring the pile of reading for next week. three hours of football--with a 30 minute break for The Office. there is nothing better for closing off the school week than a good dose of Dwight Schrute.

i am strangely uplifted by the end of my religious ed class this afternoon. for the last 5 minutes we stood in a tight circle and improvised song, noise, harmony. i could've kept at it for an hour. i love using my voice, like i've loved using my body and movement, as release, as an engagement with God and the world and people that doesn't involve quite as much thinking.

i am relieved--next week will be relatively easy, perhaps the easiest week of the semester. i want to use it to relax a bit, to catch up on phone calls and sleep and exercise. because the week after that, it's gonna get ugly.

i am nervous about signing up for Hebrew next semester, but came to the conclusion today that it is what i want to pursue.

i am 24! hearing so many of your voices and reading your birthday wishes truly brightened my day--and it was a long one. i am blessed to have you all in my life.

i am spending my day with William Faulkner tomorrow. work study sure isn't retail or waitressing (thank goodness).

i am wishing that it hadn't been so long since i picked up my guitar in the corner. i feel like i don't make music as much as i used to. i miss singing. i might even miss glee club...

i am still looking for a new way to reconnect with God. i wish i wasn't so greedy of my time. i realized that it's hard for me to sit down with God in the Word right now because i spend most of my time reading. but how many more ways are there to worship, to build a relationship, to grow? there are plenty--and i need to discover them, take the time to discover them.

i am losing a little bit of what it is to be me. minor identity crisis...which i think will be good in the end because i will come to a more solid understanding of who i really am.

i am still seeking. and i am beginning to find.