everyday is an adventure

i have new favorite d.c. moment. last night, i joined betsey and luke for a nationals game after work. despite the oppressive heat, we scored $5 seats in the shade at the very top of the park. i even got my picture made with the racing presidents and collected a free t-shirt. we had settled in and watched 4 innings before the thunder began to rumble. we turned around to see the sky filled with black clouds. we noticed rain starting to fall and cascade over the awning above us, but we had shelter. then the wind started to whip and and lash raindrops at us horizontally. suddenly the sky let loose, the players rushed for the dugouts, and a huge tarp was unrolled over the diamond. as we stood admiring the swirl of the wind and water, getting wetter by the minute, a security guard asked us all to clear the bleachers and move down to the concourse. which of course involved going out into the thick of it. and once we got down there, the horizontal rain continued to drench us and we found ourselves shivering on a 95 degree day. shivering and laughing hysterically. betsey and i crouched under a stairwell for shelter while luke gave us updates on the downpour. almost as soon as it started, the rain was over.

the metro, too, continues to be an experience. in the heat, the descent into the earth is blessed relief and yet chaos. there are businessmen and summer interns and panhandlers and women with babies. there are kindles and blackberries and ipads and ipods. there is much haste and pushiness, which only makes the moments of kindness and thoughtfulness all the sweeter. today, one woman took charge of moving people toward the center of the car (as an announcement reminds us at every station, to which no one seems to listen) so more people could cram in. of course, once we had effectively fit everyone from the platform, the conductor came over the intercom to announce that we would have to sit for a moment due to a medical emergency somewhere on the train. so there we are, limbs contorting, brows sweating. on the world's stage, the metro is certainly the theater of the absurd.

everyday is an adventure.

but even as these dc-centric activities captivate my day-to-day experience, "real" life lies in wait not too far away.  my UMC candidacy mentor asked me to call him on monday at lunch. i went outside to the sidewalk in front of my building and talked with him for about 20 minutes. we scheduled this call to discuss the personal interest inventory survey that i took several months ago. the good news: now that we've had this conversation, i can move forward in the process towards certification by scheduling my psych. evaluation--which is what will likely take the most time between now and december interviews. the bad news: the inventory determined that i have moderate to low interest in ordained ministry. hmmm. problematic for one pursuing, in fact, ordained ministry. and shane told me that the district board will have these results in front of them (among other things) when i go for my interview.

the survey did indicate that i have a 90th percentile interest in scholarship and academics. yes, makes sense. i've loved seminary and i've always done well academically. i love learning and reading and teaching. that's where my life was when i took the survey (and still is)--in school, in academia. of course i would display an aptitude for that.

my frustration comes in that these other areas of low interest are places where i am still (and very consciously so) discerning my call. and though i'm only 1/3 of the way through seminary, i've discovered SO much about myself and about my place in ministry with the Methodist Church. and the fact that i want to fight for this, to defend this call even though this survey--this snapshot of one point in a time of intense growth--might subtly suggest otherwise...that in itself is a huge indication of growth. check out my archived blogs from this time last year and you'll quickly recall my struggle with ordination. i've come so far, and i am encouraged to see that growth in myself. in fact, i think it will be a great point of discussion with the D-com.

some of the immediate areas of growth that i see in myself from the time of the survey to now: interest in preaching and politics, and an overall desire to explore parish ministry more closely. and i really have no interest or intent to pursue doctoral studies or teaching at the seminary level, which is what this survey seemed to indicate i might want to do. educational ministries within the church or parachurch sector? yes. but my time at Haygood next year will do me a world of good in experiencing parish ministry so i can grow my interest and my skills in that very important realm that is THE church.

one further thing i didn't talk through with my mentor regarding these results. i am working towards deacon's orders, which may allow me to push the boundaries of ordained ministry a bit more. like i've said before, i'm following this particular call because it is an ordination to work in the church and in the world. if formal pastoral care isn't high on my list of interests (shane so kindly read for me that the survey indicated that i have no interest in caring for people in difficult times. ha), well, it might still work out for me to have a more specialized ministry position, like in education, for example. and so on. not that all these skills don't contribute to one another, of course. teachers need a heck of a lot of pastoral care--it just may not come in nursing homes and by deathbeds.

so that's all simmering on the back burner. at the forefront of my attention has been my internship, of course, which is continuing to go well. i've received direction on another big project to occupy my time--getting church resources ready for the web--in addition to my work on bread for the preacher. the first edition that i worked on came out today! i also had the third meeting with the other d.c. beatitude fellows today, and i'm really starting to look forward to that time together. it's great to interact with people who are so similarly-minded (we laugh at all the same nerdy seminarian jokes) and who are going through such similar experiences as each other. we're reading this terrible book that is supposed to be defining for us what progressive Christianity is...we're  all ready to re-write the thing ourselves because it's falling so short of its well-meaning intentions. yet it has sparked such fruitful discussion and i just LOVE talking and thinking about this kind of stuff--in the midst of doing it all at Bread at the same time.

now if only i can manage to keep my cool in this intense heat! i would so like to go for a run but am afraid i might die. literally. i'm thinking either the national gallery, the holocaust museum, or one of the smithsonians this weekend--something indoors, for sure!