Sunday, December 28, 2008

ode to midnight

i apologize for the lengthy delay since my last post. i've been trying to focus my writing energies on my grad school essays. and then the holidays hit and i was off to Arkansas amidst a flurry of baked goods and multiple Target gift runs.

i hope your Christmas was as blessed as mine was. despite the debilitating, all-day car ride, i was so thankful to spend the holidays at my grandparents' house. they are some of the most kind, welcoming, loving, thoughtful people i have the privilege of knowing--what a joy to spend a whole week in their presence. and it was neat to have so much time around my immediate family. when we weren't driving each other crazy, we were getting along superbly well. stripping everything else away--tv shows, outings with friends, texting (well, mostly)--left only us, and that was good. plus, i finally got my blow-out, full-family holiday celebration. we had over 20 people around the tree on Christmas eve.

now comes the aftermath. i've just started my first load of laundry--though i almost hated to do it! my clothes from this past week smell distinctly of Grandma's house. this is the only time you'll find me deeply sniffing dirty clothes, inhaling that sense memory. it makes me wonder what i smell like to other people--what would your clothes reek of if you spent a week in my room? hopefully something vaguely pleasant. maybe chapstick and book pages and febreeze. as long as it's not my brother's musty old spice scent. i got more than enough of that in the car for 14 hours. boys just smell.

a task far less pleasant than dirty laundry greeted us upon our return home. my sweet cat has gone missing. our two live mostly outside, and never roam far from our back porch, especially at mealtimes. but my Midnight hasn't been seen for several days, according to our pet-sitter. this can't mean anything good. my mom is encouraging a search around the bushes and under the deck--where she thinks he would go to die. i can't imagine anything more horrible than stumbling across my cat's lifeless body. do you remember those Ramona series books? in one of those, the sisters came home to find their cat cold & curled up in his favorite nest. i've been terrified of stumbling upon a similar scene ever since i read that. but at the same time, i want to find him just so we know. so we could bury him.

excuse me for waxing poetic over my four-legged feline, but he was my first real pet. he came to live with us the summer between my fourth and fifth grade years. Midnight was immediately his name--with that black fur coat, a grade-schooler can't be expected to come up with much more. one of his first acts as a member of our family was to eat my hamster. not long after, he had to have emergency surgery after eating a packing peanut. his scar ran across his stomach from his neck to his tail. lest you doubt that he was something of a nuisance, he spent many years peeing on much of our furniture and linens (never on my things, of course). but we sure loved him. i'll spare you many of my silly "pet" names for him (pun very much so intended), but suffice it to say that i'll miss him. my mom had promised that he'd be my companion whenever i strike out on my own. i'll be sad not to have him there next year.

i don't know how to pray for him either. all i could ask was that he was spared pain and fear. otherwise, i was left pondering that movie All Dogs go to Heaven. hmm.

thanks for reading all that, if you did. in happier news, i'm currently enjoying my comfy new pj pants while listening to relient k on my new iPod home stereo. the Panthers won this afternoon! i'm going to visit 4 of my very dearest friends tomorrow, and my 2 former roommates on New Year's. hopefully next weekend i'll be hitting the ski slopes.

here's to the end of a wild and rocky 2008, and the promise of what's to come in '09!

1 comment:

elisabeth said...

Did you find your kitty yet?

It was absolutely wonderful to see you and I hope I can see you again soon!

Love you!