Saturday, July 19, 2008

settling in

i'm currently having "a big night in" (according to the oxygen channel) with the phantom of the opera. i think they did an impressive job with this movie, and those soul-pounding organ chords alone are enough to give me the shivers. i love that movie musicals are big again! here's a few thoughts through the commercials...

i've decided to be at peace here. to save each day's worries for its own. to trust God's sovereignty. to recognize that coming here was more of a leap of faith than i realized, and to remember that God has carried me to a safe landing through previous leaps. to accept a few weeks of solitude while i adjust, and rejoice in the great multitude of dear friends i left behind, whose presence i am now missing.

even as i write this my new roommate Constance just called to invite me out for ice cream with her & her babysitting charge. last night another roomie, Crystal, invited me to see The Dark Knight (though several sold-out showings turned the evening into a late dinner out). i am well looked after :)

okay--back. sorry NC folks, but they have this ice cream place called Graeter's that really is quite better than most stuff we have. mmm delish.

so even though things are different, i've really just got a new set of circumstances--what's important has stayed true. i've traded in franklin st, cameron ave, and manning drive for richmond rd, todds rd, and man-o-war. i no longer attend chapel hill bible or LOC, but crossroads. i can't meet face-to-face with sara & susanna for discipleship any longer, but i have a whole youth group full of young girls to mentor.

i miss living with kristen and mallory, and hearing mallory run the vacuum at the strangest times. i miss seeing katie at the gym on monday and wednesday mornings. i miss cracking up with anna & alison & hunter in glee club & rolling my eyes at betsey across the room. i miss meeting rachel in the parking lot after rehearsal on wednesdays & heading over for dinner & soul-searching at kristen's. i miss tuesday night life group & sunday morning in the nursery at church. i miss IV on thursday nights and the endless mingling afterwards. i miss walking across the quad & sitting in the union. i miss zumba class with holly. i miss living with amanda & ashleigh, finding ourselves in either supremely deep conversations or facebook flair searches . i miss these things, but now must cherish them as memories, looking forward to the times when they will be revisited, and trusting in the new experiences i will build here.

***

on another note entirely...

i had one of those "i immediately regret this decision" moments today--a big one. a big, ironic, kick-yourself-in-the-toosh kind of moment. i was sitting in starbucks (in the most comfortable reading chair EVER by the way) reading a book that was given to me at Crossroads, called Unchristian. The book is written by a Christian research analyst who did a huge project on the perception and reality of Christian living--and how both are pretty decidedly Unchristian. The point of the book, of course, is to raise awareness of these discrepancies for believers so that we may do something about it. Anyway, it's one of those books that I'll read in public places with the cover pointedly facing outward, instead of on my lap, in the hopes that someone would strike up a conversation with me about it. Lo and behold, that was exactly what happened today--sort of. As I was closing the book & heading out the door, a man across from me asked if I was reading something interesting (I don't know if he could even see the cover title, but nonetheless...). I said yes & gave him a brief synopsis, which was thereafter followed by an awkward pause, and a comment on the comfy-ness of said chair. I then bid him good day and walked out the door. I didn't even make it to my car before I had come up with what I should have said. Clearly I didn't pursue the conversation with this man far enough to know whether he was a Christian or an atheist or a seeker or what have you, but clearly this was a heaven-sent moment where I could have shared my faith and engaged in a stimulating spiritual conversation. Could have. But I left.

A couple years ago at Rockbridge (Intervarsity's summer camp) I was in the track called Good News, which was about evangelism. One of our speakers within the track shared a story about witnessing on campus, beginning with his realization that we can boldly ask God for opportunities to evangelize. He made that prayer, and saw it through to fulfillment. Today was such an opportunity. I don't know what would've happened--he could've shut down the minute I started throwing spiritual jargon around, or we could have sat and talked for an hour & I could have left after inviting him to church this weekend.

The irony, of course, is that i was reading this book called Unchristian. The particular chapter I was in was addressing hypocrisy, and particularly some statistics that showed no significant difference between the lifestyles of Christians and non-Christians. I've thought about this a lot recently--who am I to even call myself a Christ-follower if my life is no different from anyone else? What good news have I to share if the gospel isn't changing my life? What impact has His world-saving love had on me if I can't be distinguished from the crowd? Jesus was distinguished--He was radical & everyone knew (even if they thought He was crazy) that this man was not living in an ordinary way. Something had affected Him (ie the love of and communion with His Father) & was visibly impacting the way He lived His everyday life. That's what we all need to be doing--and here I am reading about this tragic problem among Christians today, and mourning over that & pondering how I can live in such a way. Then I walk out the door when God literally slaps an occasion down right in front of me.

Forgive me, Lord. Help me to get it someday. I pray You will be generous to grant me more coffee shop opportunities that next time I will have the courage to take.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I know those roads! Er, well, two of them. The movie theatre on Man-O-War with all the shopping around it is where we always go on Christmas.

There's not tons in downtown Lexington, but if you're ever babysitting, you definitely have to check out the Children's Museum in Victorian Square. There's also this really fun place called Kid's Place, if it's still open, which is sort of like a McDonald's playground on steroids. Shoot, I'd still go there if I had friends to go with... It's like a way-up-in-the-sky obstacle course and adults are allowed in too (though I dunno if you need kids with you... you can be over 4 ft for the biggest/main attraction, tho-- in fact, you have to be). There's also a restaurant I've always liked in Victorian Square called DeShay's-- I think they spell it like that, at least. It's two story and has a really nice tin ceiling-- I think those are sooooo pretty. Also, this is way in advance, but a head's up: the Horse Park is the place to go for Christmas lights. Personally, I think those things are sort of a waste of money, but we did it two yrs ago, I think, and it was a lot of fun. ;o)

Unknown said...

Kid's Place is not in Victorian's Square-- to clarify.